Just another guy from Nazareth.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us….” John 1:14 

No one has ever chosen to be born.  No one ever got to pick their nationality, the family they’d have, or what town they’d grow up in.  We all arrive into this world cast upon the care of our parents without any say in the manner of life we’ll inherit upon our first naked and desperate breaths outside the womb.  We don’t get to chose any of it.  This is true for all of us, except for one.  

Every man has been born, but there is only one man who was given a choice.  This man, called the Word, was in the beginning with God, He was God.  All things were created through Him and without Him nothing was made that was made.  This is the one that chose to born, this is Word that became.  To try and grasp this mystery hurts our minds but thrills our hearts: He took on flesh, God became a man.  There has never been one born like this one, He is fully human and completely God all at the same time.  He was in the beginning with God and yet He has a birthday.  He created all things and yet He has a mother.  

It is worth considering what kind of life the only man who had a say in his birth actually chose to live.  What kind of life would you chose if you were given an option?  My guess is you wouldn’t have chosen the one Jesus did.  He lived in a small town that people said nothing good comes from (John 1:46), He was born into a poor family, He worked with his hands, and He lived in a country under foreign occupation.  Even the circumstances of his birth were mean; He spent His first hours lying in a feeding troth for the beasts because there was no room for his family at the inn.   

What is even more astonishing than how Jesus chose to come into the world, is the fact that He chose to remain there hidden in the mundane of everyday life for 30 years before His true identity as the Son of God was revealed.  Between His meager birth in the Bethlehem manger and the humble proclamation of his cousin John: “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world” lie 30 years cloaked in silent mystery, the details of his childhood largely absent from the holy scriptures.  But oh how these silent years speak volumes to us about who He is!  God became flesh and dwelt among us, perfectly content to live hidden among us as just another guy from Nazareth.  Humble, Human, Holy.  

Advent Intentions

I found this book on a friend's book shelf, the title alone ministered to me. I'm calling it the Fire Within of Christmas.

For centuries faithful men and women have set their minds to meditate and their mouths to sing of the events of the life of Christ.  The birth of Jesus was remembered during the season of advent (which means coming) and the death and resurrection of Jesus was remembered during the season of lent.  These times, marked on the church’s calendar each year, were pivotal in keeping the mind and heart of the church constantly thinking upon the life and death of their Savior.

In many christian circles today, Christmas and Easter are celebrated but we don’t really know what to make of the longer seasons of advent and lent.  This christmas season, I’ve made it a point to focus my reading, thinking, and prayers upon the birth of Jesus.  I haven’t gone to the extent of buying an advent wreath and candles or discovered what wassail is all about and how one quaffs it, but I have spent some quality time looking at the birth of Jesus and I have to admit if this is what advent is all about than I’m a huge fan!

John Saward, in his book on the Christmas Mystery “The Cradle of Redeeming Love” speaks about the Christmas celebrations throughout church history:

In the middle ages the festivities of Christmas continued without interruption till Candlemas (Feburary 2^nd feast that celebrated the presentation of Jesus at the temple).  Throughout January, holly and ivy decked the halls, wassail was quaffed and carols rang out in praise of the successive mysteries of the infant God. ‘Make we myrth/ For Crystes byrth,/ And syng we Yole tyl Candelmas.’ Only on the second of Feburary, with an eye on the approaching rigors of Lent, did the medieval man dowse the Yuletide log. (p. 30 ignatius press. my parenthesis) 

The Christmas season is a great time of year to intentionally set our minds upon the birth of Christ, and ponder the weightiness and beauty of God revealed in the face of Christ.  Scripture calls the incarnation (God becoming a man) a great mystery (1 Timothy 3:16). The truths within this mystery were not hidden from us but rather hidden for us.  Saints throughout history have born witness to depths of this mystery and to the wisdom of seeking it out.  It was said of St. Francis of Assi that he could not even utter the name Bethlehem without stammering with emotion, like the bleating of sheep.  Oh that this christmas, that tiny one in the manger would be to us a treasure of unspeakable worth.

Reading Suggestions: 

If your looking for suggestions on what exactly to read and study over the advent season here are a few thoughts.  You could read the gospel accounts that speak of Christ’s birth: Matthew 1 & 2, Luke 1 & 2, John 1.  Take your time, ponder, and talk to the Lord about what your reading.  You could also search out what the old testament prophets said about Jesus’ coming, passages like Isaiah 9 & 11 are great starting points. There are also some great reading plans available for the advent season.  Here is one that I’ve been reading this year, it includes daily scripture readings that speak of Jesus’ first and second coming: http://venablefour.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/advent-bible-reading-plan/.

In addition to reading scripture, there are some great devotional books that can aid you gazing upon life and person of Christ.   Here is a link to download a free copy of one of them it’s called “Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ” by John Piper: http://www.desiringgod.org/store/books/seeing-and-savoring-jesus-christ

enjoy!

Mike Bickle at The Response

Who is like the Lord, who spits and makes mud that heals?

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. 2  His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” 6 Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud 7 and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing. 8 The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar were saying, “Is this not the man who used to sit and beg?”… John 9:1-8

Here in John 9… Jesus passes by this man who had sat begging, presumably at the entrance to the temple, for such a length of time that he’d become known to people as “the man who sits and begs”.  The disciples’ theological question to Jesus seems quite an inappropriate question to ask in front of a man born blind, but I am sure it wasn’t the first time this man born blind had heard it asked.  It almost seems like here at the beginning of John 9 we have a mini version of the book of Job.  Like Job’s friends the disciples assumed this man’s life of blindness and destitution was due either to his sin or his parents sin and who better to ask for an opinion on the matter but God himself.

I can’t help but think about how this question must have eaten away at this poor man.  It seems the disciples wouldn’t dare suggest that God had anything to do with this man’s affliction and I imagine they were caught off guard by Jesus’ reply… “it wasn’t that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”  In essence Jesus was saying the most important part about  this man’s sickness is not the origin of it but the outcome.  This man’s life long ailment, the cause of his pain, sorrow, and shame was to be used to display the works of God!   The next thing that happens is crazy… Jesus bends down to the dust that this poor man was laying in, hocks a loogie, makes some mud, rubs it in the blind man’s eyes and when he washes it off he can see!  What!?!

The thing that really strikes me is that Jesus, who is God, the everlasting one, the high and lofty one before whom angels cry holy, holy, holy,  is in this very act of kindness displaying what He is like.  He doesn’t treat people like theological problems to be solved but rather he is kind and compassionate… he came from the heights of glory but he has no problem in bowing down to touch a desperate blind man begging by the side of the road.  Truly there is no pit of despair too deep which Jesus can’t reach!!  If he cared for a man such as this and redeemed even his most hopeless and painful woes than he cares about me too and my problems and my spells of despair are not beyond his loving touch!   This is our God, this is what He is like, He spits, He makes mud, and He really cares about us.

The Songs of Barren Women.. Part 1

Praise the Lord!

Praise, O servants of the Lord,

praise the name of the Lord!

Blessed be the name of the Lord

from this time forth and forevermore!

From the rising of the sun to its setting,

the name of the Lord is to be praised!

The Lord is high above all nations,

and his glory above the heavens!

Who is like the Lord our God,

who is seated on high,

who looks far down

on the heavens and the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust

and lifts the needy from the ash heap,

 to make them sit with princes,

with the princes of his people.

 He gives the barren woman a home,

making her the joyous mother of children.

Praise the Lord! - Psalm 113

(Those words in bold seem awfully familiar, I think I remember reading something really close to these someplace in the bible.. anyone want to take a guess who said it first? I’ll give you a clue.. she wasn’t drunk but someone thought she was…)

Oh Henri

“Solitude is the place where God-with-us can be unpacked and where we connect with the God who is our Origin,…” – Henri Nouwen Clowning in Rome page 26-27. 

David wrote in Psalm 27:14  “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”  I’ve been discovering lately that it really does take courage to wait for God… to spend your time in prayer month after month and year after year with seemingly little to show for it. To not lose heart in the waiting takes something more than we have in our human zeal.  It takes courage.

In his book “Clowning in Rome” Henri Nouwen compares the large, empty spaces of Cathedrals in the midst of the bustling city of Rome, to our lives of solitude in a busy modern world.  I remember visiting a Cathedral in Ireland. The clamor of the outside street was quickly swallowed up by silence as I passed through it’s dark entry way into the sanctuary.  Inside the towering heights of it’s domed ceiling I held back my words as the ancient stone walls echoed with a weighty history that made my soul tremble.

As tourists we marvel at the architectural feats of these cathedrals, yet they still seem somewhat foolish to our post modern minds.  Our churches  are more practical, much more efficient then there ancient forefathers.  We have more sound systems, more seats, more offices much lower ceilings and less mystery.  But these old cathedrals still stand as witnesses to us and by their extravagant emptiness remind us that there is more to life than people and schedules.  They remind us, by their sacred vacancy, that there is indeed an empty space in our lives that not even the most intimate of human relationships can fill.

Prayer too can seem impractical and even dreadful on the surface as we enter through it’s quiet and empty hours and discover our own deep vacancy.  While the vastness of our emptiness is overwhelming, let us remember that it was created by our Maker who longs to fill it with Himself.  So be strong and let your heart take courage …wait for the Lord.  

Unnecessary or Extravagant?

I’ve taken some artistic license and employed my imagination to fill in some of the details in the following blog.  It’s inspired from the story of Mary of Bethany.  See Matthew 26:6-13, Mark 14:3-9 and John 12:1-8. Enjoy.

There she was, eyes swollen from tears, hair all a mess covering her face, sitting on the dusty floor …  She had not been deaf to the murmuring of the twelve when she burst in the door at Simon’s house.  Her heart was set, she had done it; that vial of perfume was now broken and its contents finally poured out over Him.  He leaned over and looked at her, gently lifting her bowed head.  Moving the hair from her eyes, she returned his glance, not knowing for sure how he would yet respond.  There in the silence, the disciples’ groans now erupted into a sincere, but indignant protest, “Why this waste?!”  Suddenly came that familiar rush of despair, she bowed her head low and thought to herself, “Maybe they’re right; what was I thinking?”

There were a storm of opinions surrounding Mary’s devotion to Jesus that night.  We know, for certain, that the disciples didn’t grasp what she had done.  They didn’t see her fragrant offering as a thoughtful extravagant gift, but rather, a foolish and costly waste.  We don’t know for sure from the scripture, but I wonder, as I’ve alluded to in the above description, if Mary wasn’t also a little uncertain about what she had done.  Did she doubt the virtue of her gift when it was not met with applause by those closest to Jesus?  Perhaps she thought, “Do I really have anything to offer that matters to Jesus? This is all I have to give, and everyone thinks it’s a waste; maybe Jesus feels the same way?”  It took courage for Mary to do what she did.  She didn’t stop herself at the door with the first grumble of disapproval from the disciples, and she didn’t turn and defend herself.  It’s hard to wait like Mary, in silence before Jesus, to hear what He thinks of our offering.  But oh, to hear what Mary heard…

The silent tension seemed to hang there forever.  Jesus turned to the disciples, and as they saw his face, their snarls turned into a nervous panic.  Their words fell to the ground, crawled back under the table, and hid from His stern gaze.  “Leave her alone!” He said to them.   Then turning back to Mary, He looked at her and said with a smile, “She has a done a beautiful thing for me.”  

That night, as the fragrance of Mary’s worship filled the room and the swirl of commentaries rose from every heart, Jesus spoke, and the opinion that mattered above all had the last word.  Applause will come and go.  The approval of man will show itself shallow soil to build our lives upon, fragile reason to make our choices by; but there is one opinion that will remain true, and one voice that will always matter.  If what we are doing really matters to Jesus, if it moves His heart, if He appreciates it, then what we do truly matters. If the beauty of our devotion to Jesus is hidden from our sight we can rest assured that it does not go unappreciated by the one before whom all the thoughts and intentions of men’s heart are clearly seen.  Oh, Lord, let us see the eyes that Mary saw, eyes that defeat our doubts.  Let us hear the voice that Mary heard, the voice that silences our accusers and tells us: “It matters to me; I think it’s beautiful”. 

A poor and needy man after God’s heart

Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.  Preserve my life, for I am godly; save your servant, who trusts in you- you are my God.  Psalm 86:1-2

The prayer above was written by a man named David, who God called a man after his own heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22).  God must have really wanted us to take a good look at David for not only do we have a record of the events of his life, but we also have a detailed record his intimate conversations with God.  These have come down to us in the form of over 70 psalms that apart from being filled with some of the keenest insight into God’s character and emotions also give us a shockingly raw look at how the man after God’s heart prayed.  We would do well to sit next to David in his prayer time and learn from him… so lets do it!  We’ll look at Psalm 86, its called by the compiler of the psalms “a prayer of David”  so it seems like a great place to start.

First thing we notice about David’s prayer in psalm 86 is that he addressed God as one who was poor and needy. The man after God’s heart, whose prayer life was given to us as an example saw himself as poor and needy.  But wasn’t David a King, the sweet psalmist of Israel, a famous and skilled warrior?  Many would have thought David strong, but David saw himself as weak, poor, and completely dependent on God.  Nothing like daily bringing yourself before God in long hours of prayer will make you realize how poor and needy you actually are.  Those who are needy pray and those who pray realize how needy they really are.

The next thing we notice about David’s prayer is that he also addressed God as one who was godly.  What an amazing statement to make before God “I am godly.” Now as much as we know about David’s achievements, the bible is also not shy in recording his failures yet still he states that he was godly.  How can this be?  How did David know that he was godly?  Simply because David knew what God was like!  After making his plea to God for help he states the ground upon which he makes his request “for You, (because you) are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.”   What gave David confidence to declare himself godly was that he knew what God was like.  David knew that even though he was poor and needy, God was generous and merciful.  It was the combination of these two truths: David’s need and God’s generosity that caused David to trust in God and not in himself.  As we discover our need for God it’s meant to bring us to rely on the generous God who loves us in our poverty.

When I read these two statements in David’s prayer it is hard for me to reconcile them because often I view my weakness and need as evidencing a lack of my godliness.  I’ll often think if I was really a man of God I wouldn’t be struggling with x,y, and z.  So as I read this psalm and see David, the man after God’s heart, boldly stating his need for God and confessing that he is “poor” I can’t seem to breeze past it as though its not a shocking insight for me into what it means to be godly.

Admitting that I am weak or in need seems to be one of the hardest things for me to do, but I think the clearest way to know how I really feel about weakness is seen in how  I respond towards other people’s weaknesses.  Often instead of meeting their needs with compassion and patience I meet them with impatience and frustration.  Can anyone relate?  These little revelations are a painful insight into how I actually think God views my weakness.  It’s really hard to walk away from meeting a compassionate and tender God and be harsh towards others in their weakness, if we do we have really missed the point (Matthew 18:21-35).  But even these painful revelations are not meant to send us groveling in the dust, but to cause us to come to Jesus.

Seeing and admitting our need for God opens the door for the revelation of the love of God to penetrate us at the deepest places.  Yes I am poor and needy, but GOD thinks upon me!  I’d rather be poor and needy but have God watching out for me, than “rich and strong” and depending on myself.  More than anything I want to love God and love like God… but if I am ever going to succeed at that I have to let him love me first and not because I am strong or because I try really hard… but because I am his child, poor, needy, undeserving but never the less he still calls me his beloved.  So today lets come like David and let the Holy Spirit woo us into total dependance upon God.  You are my God apart from you I have no good! (psalm 16:2).

Springsteen, Jesus, and my dream. Part A: when I was in jail & and John the Baptist still had his head

I was a junior in high school sitting in a jail cell drunk and heartbroken.  I had been arrested for scalping tickets for a concert I mistakenly thought all my high school friends would want to attend:  Bruce Springsteen and the E street Band.  I’ll never forget when the police officer opened up the prison cell and let me out.  I bolted out of the police station blood pumping, sprinting through the streets of Boston not even stopping to re-string the laces of my shoes.  When I finally passed through the ticket gates of the Boston Garden and heard the sound of guitars thundering through the amber glow of stage lights I knew this was a destiny moment!  I joined my friends, their despair now relieved that I was released  from jail, and all seemed right in the world.  That night more than any college and career day I ever attended had helped me decide what I really wanted to do with my life.  I only went to college to appease my mother, I remember sitting around the kitchen table telling her “mom I’ll go to college but I already know what I am going to do: I’m gonna change the world, I’m going to write songs!”

Fast forward to the present, I’ve been a christian for eight years and I’ve watched as the runway of my twenties that was supposed to launch me into my “destiny” has gradually grown shorter and narrower as life speeds ahead with no regard for boys dreams.  Life seems much more mundane and hard now than it was in my romantic teenage years.  As I seek to live out my vows to follow Jesus will all of my heart, I find myself needing constant reminders of why I am really doing what I am doing.  I still have the dream of being a musician and writing songs, but I wonder if I really have what it takes to “make it” and I’m starting to question what “making it” really means?

This past winter while I was home for Christmas my mother told me I had to watch this documentary about Bruce Springsteen called The Promise.  It chronicles Springsteen’s passionate and obsessive production of the his fourth album Darkness on the Edge of Town.  The film maker did an excellent job of capturing Springsteen’s drivenness as a musician.  No detail was insignificant to Bruce, one day they spent 16 hours in the studio just trying to find a good sound for the drums.  Bruce’s really believed in what he was doing.  He didn’t want to just make another album, he wanted to make a masterpiece, he didn’t just want to get by he wanted to be great!  It was really inspiring watch this video and peer into a time in Bruce’s life when his future was still uncertain; its as if whether he made it in the future or not wasn’t as important as giving it all he had in the present.

As great as the documentary was, something about it really bothered me.  It took me a couple days with a pit in my stomach to actually figure out what was bothering me, but then it hit me.  Bruce and I may have a lot in common but we define greatness and success in totally different ways.  Bruce talked a lot about inspiring people and making music that really made a difference in the world and in those terms he has been really successful.  He’s sold millions of records, he’s been credited as having saved rock n roll, and he’s doubtlessly touched millions of people through his music.  Now don’t get me wrong I think these are great achievements and I think there is much to be admired about a man like Springsteen and his give it all you got ethos but I don’t think Bruce is overly concerned with what Jesus thinks about His music.  Hence the pit in my stomach.

There is coming a day when we will see Jesus, his eyes will meet ours and in that day there is only one opinion that matters: His.  In Matthew Chapter 11 John the Baptist sent word to Jesus from prison, he had his disciples ask whether or not Jesus was really the one who John spoke about, in other words was John on the right track in what he dedicated his life to and what he was about to die for?  After Jesus answers John’s disciples he turns to the crowd and says to them about John the Baptist what I long to hear him say about me… there was none greater than John.  One day I am going to see Jesus, the man who died for me.  This is real and this is the reason why I won’t give up when things get hard, when I’m misunderstood, under-appreciated, or unpopular.  Its not because I don’t want to be great but because I want to be great where it really matters: in Jesus’ eyes.

Springsteen, Jesus, and My Dream Part B: I have a dream

So part A of this blog was insanely long and if your like me you probably won’t read all it, but you may read this one.  So if greatness is defined by Jesus, what does that really look like for me as a songwriter?

Let me answer that question by sharing a dream of mine with you.  Its a dream like not one that you have when your asleep, but its the kind you have when your eyes are open and your heart is pounding like dynamite in your chest.  You know like a Martin Luther King Jr. I have a dream dream…Well I have a dream too and it goes something like this:

One day when the glory of rock concerts and sunsets are long forgotten, when Jesus has returned, and God and man are dwelling together again.. all the redeemed saints will gather before God’s throne to worship Him as will doubtlessly happen time and time again throughout eternity.  The choirs of men and angels leading the songs that day begins singing.  Maybe that day they start with one of the psalms or a Charles Wesley hymn, or a spontaneous chorus and then suddenly it happens! I hear it and I am shocked: they are singing a chorus to a song I wrote!  Still amazed that they even knew my song I look over and I see Jesus…. He smiles at me and the look in his eyes says it all; this isn’t the first time that He’s heard the song.  He heard it the very first time I sang it to him through tears and snots in my basement some cloudy afternoon when my heart was heavy and I wrestled in a song to bring him my heart.  It moved Him then and He will remember it forever.  Oh if Jesus remembers what I’ve done and thinks it great, if this happens and nothing else (no CDs, no concerts, no radio play, no recognition from men) if Jesus likes my songs then I will have been a success.  This is my dream.  What’s yours?

October – Video Newsletter – Part 1

Heres my first attempt at a video version of my monthly newsletter, I hope you enjoy it I filmed it on my laptop, I hope to get some better footage once Aaron figures out if his camcorder still works.    Blessings! – Colin

Tips for viewing – I recommend pausing it first to let it load then watching it.  Enjoy…part 2 soon to come!

Colin’s song “I get everything I need” click here

Delighting in the Fear of the Lord

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding – Psalm 111:10

I am shocked by the amount of times the fear of the Lord is mentioned in the bible in both old and new testaments, yet how little its talked of today.  The psalms and proverbs are filled with very convincing advertisements for this virtue.  It used to be that when someone described a christian they’d say he or she is “god fearing”, but today those words seem to be sadly absent from the vocabulary of modern secular culture.  Perhaps the reason why this is so is because, the virtue is sadly absent from the modern christian church in the western world?

Most of us, wrestle with the idea of fearing a loving God… and some would argue doesn’t perfect love cast out fear (1 John 4:18)? I’d say yes, perfect love casts out the fear of condemnation (if we’ve actually repented) but the perfect love of God does not cast out the fear of God.

Jesus himself is described as

Why are you sleeping Lord?

Have you ever heard anyone say, “its safer to be on the water with Jesus than in the boat without him”?  But what about when you are in the boat with Jesus and a great storm comes and hits the boat, but Jesus is SLEEPING!  Well this is exactly what happened to the disciples on their way across the sea of Galilee, Mark records its in his gospel account in chapter 4:38-41.  Growing up on the water, I was forced into sailing as a kid, and I hated it, I especially hated when we had to sail in bad weather, the boat would come so close to tipping, it was cold, windy, wet, and scary!  I’d imagine that the disciples had seen some pretty bad storms in their days as fisherman, but when this storm hit they were especially terrified.  Luke, the detail savvy doctor, recorded in his account that “the boat was filling with water and they were in great danger” (Luke 8:23).  Yet however bad this storm was it only served to reveal a greater storm swarming inside the hearts of Jesus’ frightened young friends.

The disciples asked ” lord do you not care that we are perishing?” in essence its the same question we ask him when the storms in our lives rage: 

Theology of the Fire

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.“Daniel 3: 16-18

I am in awe of the whole story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  These were real people facing certain death, but in the midst of their fiery trial listen to what their testimony is before their accuser.

#1. We do not need to defend ourselves – I could spend an hour on this thought alone, they were committing themselves into God hands because they believed God was their deliverer and not themselves. In essence in saying this they were professing before God “Into your hands I commit my spirit”…David said this in psalm 31:5, hiding caves refusing to touch the man who was trying to kill him, choosing rather to let God promote him than to take matters into his own hands and Jesus said this on the cross as the end statement of a life lived fully leaning on the Father (Luke 23:46).

#2.  God is able to deliver us. They didn’t just say this in there prayer to God, they said it to the who was ordering them to worship his gods.  That’s like declaring to the President who has ordered your execution, God is able to deliver me from the firing squad.  What faith!

But what is even more astounding to me is the next thing they said…

Onething 2009 – Get stirred and come!!!!

New Song – Be it Known (Daniel 3)

Here is a new song I recently wrote, I played it during my songwriting small group and a friend recorded it, enjoy! 

Lyrics and Chords (roughly)

Be It Known (words and music Colin McNulty 2009)

C/G                               D/A                       G  (D/F# Em)

The king wants to know how we will reply

And it means our death if we don’t comply

So we now before you stand

But our lives our not in your hands

C/G                                                 D/A

For Our God will come to save us

C/G                                                D/A

Our God is able to rescue us

G D/F# Em

Even from the flames

Am                    G/B                       C

But Even if He doesn’t come for us

Am                          G/B                          C                        Am

We will stand and give our lives as dust

C/G

For a burning flame of love

D/A

oh fiery grave

G                                         Em

But be it known oh king, be it known

C                                                            D

We will bow before no other throne

And We want you to know, that even if he doesn’t come for us

We say He’s worth it, we say He’s worth it

Second Time through

Even if you never come for me

I will stand and I’ll take the heat

Oh burning flame of love

Oh fiery grave

But be it known, oh God

Be it known that I will bow before no other throne

And I want you to know, that even if you never come for me

I say your worth it, I say your worth it ….All!!

The Last Minute Dinner Guests Test

In honor of the beginning of the Holiday season, I would like to dedicate this blog to all those preparing those wonderful feasts we all look forward to this time of year.  Now imagine if this thanksgiving, you were expecting to feed twelve when suddenly five thousand people showed up!! This may sound pretty extreme, but this is just what happened to the twelve disciples.  They’d  journeyed across the sea of Galilee with Jesus for some nice rabbi- disciple time, when suddenly Jesus starts up with the compassion ministry again, healing the sick, walking on water,  and next thing you know there is a huge crowd… five thousand people and guess what? They are hungry too!!

As I was reading this story in the Gospel of John (6: 1-15) something interesting jumped out at me.

John 6:5 “(Jesus) Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a large crowd was coming toward him said to Phillip, “Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?”6 He said this to test him, for He himself knew what He would do”

Jesus asked Phillip to test him! 

Student Awakening Upper Room Prayer Meeting

 

This is what I am going to be doing until December 15th…among other things!

The ache is love too

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled – Jesus Matthew 5:6

My Soul thirsts for you, my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water – King David Psalm 63:1

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve discovered something inside of me that I have absolutely no control over and its frightening… I am not experiencing the Love of God like I long to, I can’t shake the desire to know really KNOW the Love of God in a greater way, the revelation I have had in the past won’t do!  Nothing anyone can say to me will satisfy me, no earthly relationship no matter how sweet can soothe this ache.   I feel the pain in areas of my life where I am missing God’s touch and I long for Him to set things right.  I am hungry and thirsty and the hardest part is I can’t do anything to feed myself, I pray, read the bible, fast, have others pray for me, repeat all these with more and more vigor  but it just becomes clearer and clearer… Only God can satisfy me… I am not in control.

So as the hunger grows the temptation is to despise this place of pain, especially since it seems like so many around me are experiencing the breakthrough I so long for.  But today I saw things differently as I talked to Jesus.  It didn’t make the ache go away, but I realized that even though this hunger for God is painful,  its real and He counts it as love. To borrow an analogy from a friend, the joy we feel when we are with someone we love is just as much an experience of  love as the ache we feel when we are apart.  So today in the pain of waiting for God alone…I am saying yes to hunger…I am saying Jesus you are worth hungering for…its worth it to ache for you…. I will love you in the hunger Jesus!  Oh Son of David don’t pass me by I am lovesick!! Its worth it to ache for you so Come Lord Jesus!!

Jonathan Edwards’ Resolution (What Matters in Eternity Part 1)

My friend and housemate, Aaron Salvatore’s recent blog “perspective” inspired me to write this blog, if you were gonna just chose one to read… go read his blog… but if you’ve got the time read mine too.

“Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.” – Jonathan Edwards “Resolutions” 1722 New Haven Connecticut

As we celebrate the passing of another year and the start of a new one, I can’t help thinking of the day when we get more than a new year but a new world, when the present one has completely passed away (Revelation 21).  On that day  we must all give an account of our lives to God.  Be honest even if you’re a believer in Christ, this still causes you to tremble. Don’t we fear that when we stand before God on that day, we’ll look back at our lives and regret some of the decisions we made?  And who wants to live with regret? Not me!  Somehow instinctively we know that what matters most in life will be so clear to us on that day in ever clear light of eternity, but why wait till then to start thinking about it?  Do we have to settle for regret?  Which brings me to this quote:  When I first read the quote above from Jonathan Edwards, I was so provoked by this resolution that I made it my own and turned it into a prayer… it goes something like this:

God, the things I’m going to care about in a million years, help me to care about them right now.  I want what is going to matter in the light of eternity when I stand before you to matter to me now.

What Really Matters in Eternity? (Part 2)

What really does matter in Eternity?  I can’t give you a bullet list, but I hope to provoke you to think about it in the light of what Jesus described as eternal life.  He said eternal life was to know God, and Jesus Christ whom He sent (John 17:3).  Eternal life starts today and it starts with knowing Jesus.

Its that simple, just love Jesus its the onething that is needed. Simple, sure but easy, no way.  It takes a violent resolution in our soul to pursue this especially  in a world where a million other voices  pleadendlessly for our affections and attention like a strong wind blowing us in the opposite direction we set out on.  Loving Jesus is not easy, and furthermore its not safe, its risky as anything but its worth it, because He’s worth it!

But how often do we settle for preserving ourselves the pain of this pursuit, by settling for what is safe and comfortable?  Oh who cares about being safe if it means forfeiting that which really matters?  What does it profit me if I gain the whole world; if I get every fleeting thing won’t mean squat a million years from now but I miss the very point of life itself.  The bible is not filled with stories of people who kept it all together and in a respectable calm and systematic approach found God, but rather its filled stories of people who were a complete mess, they were desperate, they were foolish… maybe they lost their dignity, their reputations, their safety, their comfort, but they found JESUS!  Oh He doesn’t despise the broken and hungry soul.  Oh God I let go everything I just want to risk it all to find you and love you more!   This is what matters most to me both now and forevermore.  (Matthew 16:24-28)

A saturday morning moan

Its Saturday morning, after a long and crazy week. For a long time I’ve felt like anything could happen in my life, the uncertainty of not knowing how the events of my life are going to play out is both exciting and terrifying all at once. I’ve been trying to find a rhythm and get on a steady schedule, but my achievement of this is far below what I’d hoped for.

On top of this, all week I’ve felt the painful reality of just how little I can do on my own strength and how prone I am to lean on myself and not God.  I’ve felt very distracted from the one thing that really matters… God. So finally Saturday morning comes, my day off!  I make it to the prayer room with no classes or worship sets looming over my head, I sit in my favorite chair in the back, whip out my bible and my notepad…. and then it happens… auto pilot mode! Oh no no no! I hate autopilot mode! but what is worse is that I feel like I have to accomplish something in the next two hours of prayer and still worse I feel like I have to make up for my crazy week and really “do business with God”.

But as I sit here, I  catch myself starting do this and instead of beating myself up for it I decide to put my bible down, close my notebook, close my eyes and actually talk to God…. even if its just a moan in his direction.  As I sat there I asked myself when everything feels crazy, when life is uncertain, when I am so aware of my depravity, and so unable to fix myself, what do I go back to?

I go back to where it all started..

Who wants it?

The Story of Jacob and Esau always bothers me (Genesis 27).  It just doesn’t seem fair.  Jacob cheated and tricked his brother out of his blessing from their father as the first born son.  Esau was the first born and he deserved the first born blessing, but his little brother with some help from his mama, stole it away from him.  When Esau went to Isaac to receive his blessing and inheritance from his father, he found that he already given it away.  Today this would be like being written out of your father’s will right before He dies and everything you were supposed to get goes to your little cheat of a brother.  But there is one thing that is very interesting about this story to me.  Esau thought he deserved this inheritance and blessing from his father, but Jacob wanted it.

The Bible talks of a lot about both rewards and inheritance and its easy to throw out out one in favor of the other. But we need a good understanding of both. A reward is something we earn because of something we’ve done, but an inheritance is something we receive freely because of what someone else did.

In other words….The Blessing of God, the forgiveness we can receive from Him, the inheritance we have in His family as sons and daughters, and all the family benefits that He gives to us (psalm 103), aren’t dished out on the basis of who deserves it, but rather its the gift of God available to anyone who wants it.

In our case, a man died so we could have an inheritance we didn’t deserve. (If we think we deserve something from God, we’ve really missed the memo, we actually deserve hell yikes..thank God we don’t get what we deserve) So why will some people end up like Esau and some like Jacob?  Why will some people miss out on the inheritance that God would give them?  Let me suggest that its not an issue of who deserves it, but who desires it.  God’s hands our open, he wants to fill his house, he wants to bless his children, he wants you in his family… the questions is not do you deserve it, but do you want it?

A Hope that doesn’t disappoint

“Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of mercies who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the same comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The last couple of years haven’t been easy; I’ve gone through a lot of heartache.  Any one who reads my blog would probably recognize that I’ve encountered a lot of pain in my journey.  The last six months in particular have been very challenging and throughout diverse situations I have held on to the hope that things would soon get better.  As many of you know, I met a girl this fall and I was really excited, I was hoping that this would be the start of things getting a lot better.

Sadly, however I was wrong.  We broke up this weekend, (ok more accurately stated she broke up with me) and since then I find myself trying to cope with the pain of disappointment and quite frankly it’s hard.  God has taught me not to run from pain or seek false comforts but instead to run to him, so that is what I am doing.

It is these times of affliction, times of pain, times of disappointment that cause us to seek some answer as to why we keep going?  And for me its come down to this question, where do I put my hope? I’m just being honest here…

In it for the long haul: Psalm 37:5-6 REPOST

I was reading through some of my old blogs and I really liked this one so I decided to repost it again.  repetition is our friend.

“Commit your way to the LORD; Trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.”

In the days of high speed Internet, jetsetter air travel, and 24hr miracle diets it’s clear that we are constantly being presented with a plethora of products and ventures that promise us instant gratification and immediate results. I was recently on a plane that was delayed for about an hour and at the news of our delay coming over the captain’s intercom you could feel the angry groans of deeply dissatisfied passengers literally vibrating through your seat back. People were furious because they would now arrive 1,200 miles away from their homes in seven hours instead of six. To think that same journey 100 years ago would take you all week or maybe a couple days by train.

While there are many benefits to the technological advances being produced in our day we must be careful that in our ever-increasing pursuit of convenience we don’t scoff at the patient endurance that is still required in pursuing the most valuable things in life. You may be able to get to California in eight hours, or network with people half way across the world instantaneously using your computer or cell-phone, but you can’t just press a button and produce things that are of real value, things that are of eternal value.

This brings me to this verse in Psalm 37…

A glimpse inside whats happening in New England right now….

CLICK HERE TO WATCH A VIDEO FROM THE MEETINGS

IHOPU AND JHOP Boston are holding prayer meetings every night Monday through Thursday at the Ruggles Baptist Church in Boston from 7:00 – 9:00 PM during the 40 days (March 2nd through April 8th).

On April 9th we will gather at Memorial Church in Harvard Yard.
Click here for more info.

If you would like to be involved with the prayer sets taking place throughout the day, please contact us!

Ruggles Baptist Church
874 Beacon Street
Boston, MA 02215-3101

Awakening Gathering in Rhode Island

April 2nd – Rhode Island - Renaissance Church

7:00PM
455 Wickenden Street
Providence, RI 02903-4433
Click Here for Directions

Contact Scott Axtmann at (401) 527-5521

There’s a Song in my Guts

Here is a short little video of my worship team doing a set in the prayer room here in Kansas City.  We’re doing a song I wrote.   I call it “I am lovely to You“, but all my teammates call it “the guts song” I hope you enjoy it.  The last chorus “You delight…in the weakest ones” came out spontaneously during one our sets this semester and its become my favorite part of the song.  Man it just feels so good to sing it to the Father because its really true: He delights in the weakest ones! (Luke 10:21)

Your financial support helps me be able to continue to do sets like the one you are watching here, so for all those who have had or will have a heart to support me, I want to say thank so much for making this possible!!!

Just say you’re sorry and sing your song.

So yesterday I was in the prayer room, Misty Edwards (one of IHOP’s senior worship leaders) had just finished leading an hour long solo devotional set that was simply beautiful, when the next worship leader took the stage.  He was a young man in his twenties that I’d never seen lead before.  I watched as he set up his guitar and his adjusted his microphone nervously before nodding to Misty that he was ready to start. As misty ended the song, he took his first strum on his guitar but nothing happened!   An awkward silence filled the prayer room as heads all over the prayer room looked up from their bibles and journals to the fumbling young man and his guitar. The new worship leader’s head scrambled around in confusion until his eyes landed upon the problem: his guitar was not plugged in. So with one motion he plugged his guitar in, strummed a chord, and said gently into the microphone for all to hear: “sorry”. A light chuckle filled the prayer room and then… He just moves right on like nothing happened. Amazing!

How many of us make mistakes in our lives, in our jobs, in our relationships and yet we have trouble putting it behind us and moving on?  Well you are not alone, a lot of us camp out there too. Guitar in one hand, cord in the other, trying desperately to explain to ourselves, to God, and to the people around us that we really didn’t mean to mess up and that we’ll never do it again.  All the while paralyzed from the trauma of failing we are not going anywhere.  But just like our young friend in the prayer room there is a song for us to sing that we can’t sing and others can’t hear if we never move on from our mistakes.

But how do we move on? Well, first we’ve got to stop trying to fix ourselves and talk to the only one who can fix us…that one being God.  So you’ve messed up, you can admit it and that’s great but can you let God forgive you? Can you let Him love you when you’re not having the most amazing transition?

How we respond to God when we botch it says more about how we view Him, than how we respond to Him when we are doing well.  He loves to forgive and He loves to help us. It is so much easier to move on, when we’ve settled the issue that God has forgiven us and that He still enjoys us even when we don’t have it all together.  He is not dealing with you according to your mistakes, in fact He forgets all about them once we’ve brought them to him.  He’s not focused on the fact that you forgot to plug in your guitar, but rather he’s filled with joyful anticipation over the song you are about to sing.  So sing friends, sing.

The man that no one could bind

Its Friday morning 10:55 am, I am sitting at a narrow table facing a wall in the prayer room and I am distracted as all get up. I’ve been here since 8 am and I’m starting to get frustrated because I came here to be focused but my mind keeps wandering wildly in a thousand directions. I’ve been digging into some theological concepts the last couple weeks concerning the identity of God as a Creator who is actively involved with His creation, and while its been a good study the mental focus it demands is making me more aware of how scattered brained I am. So at the moment my heart is really longing to connect with Jesus right now.

So I take a break from being distracted, I mean trying to study and I open my bible and read Mark chapter 5. Its the account of Jesus healing a demon-possessed man in Gerasenes. Mark describes the man like this: “He lived among the tombs. and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had been bound often with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains and pulled the shackles apart, and he broke the chains to pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and bruising himself with stones” (Mark 5:3-5)

What a sad story. How tormented must this man have been? And when he saw Jesus he wasn’t exactly willing to work with him, rather he cried out:

Who really cares about widows?

Psalm 68:5

Father of the Fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation (Heavenly Temple).

Often times when we think of God in his heavenly home where he rules from seated on his throne, we imagine he is not much different than our earthly rulers.  What that usually boils down to is that we recognize that God is powerful but we assume that he is distant and not terribly concerned about how average people like you an me are doing.  This is not the God the bible describes.  The God of all power is described from Genesis to Revelation as the God who cares for the weak or as the psalm above declares He is the “father to the fatherless and the protector of widows”.  In other words, from His heavenly temple God see and cares about people, and not just the noble and strong but the weak and helpless people.   Its amazing to realize that the Lord of Hosts, the commander of Angels, who looks out over all the earth is not fretting over what world powers are doing, he’s not threatened by pop stars stealing any of his fame, or our nations stealing his power, but rather he God is looking after widows and the fatherless.

In Jesus, who is the radiance of the Glory of God and the exact imprint of God’s nature, (in other words Jesus of Nazareth is the Lord God Almighty) we see such a vivid display of God’s heart for the weakest ones.  Take a look at the gospels and its clear to see what was proclaimed about God in psalm 68:5 displayed in Jesus’ life.  We see him fighting for the widows cause as He condemned the Pharisees for “devouring widows houses” (Luke 20:47) and as he sat and watched the the offering box in the earthly temple He wasn’t impressed by the rich who gave out of their abundance but by a poor widow who dropped in two small copper coins out of her poverty.  He even called his disciples over to marvel at her (Mark 12 41-44).

In  Luke 7 we see Jesus heal a widow’s son.  Think about this for a second. A widow’s son is another way to describe a fatherless child. With one word Jesus raises the fatherless boy from death and the widowed woman from sorrow.  And what was his motivation?  Why did he do this?  Did he look in His job description and decide he had to heal cause that’s what God does?   No he did it because Jesus, God in the Flesh felt compassion.  Read how Luke described the event “when he saw her  he had compassion on her and said to her “do not weep”. (Luke 7:12-13).  This is our God, He sees the lonely widow and His heart is moved with compassion. Naturally this thought will inspire us to imitate God’s heart for the downtrodden (James 1:27) but it should also bring comfort to our own hearts, to know that this is what He is like.  He is not distant, he is not too busy to take concern in how we are doing.  He is mindful of the ones who are overlooked, the one who come with two little coins.  He who sits enthroned in heaven sees and cares.  So today whether you are a fatherless child or a widowed woman or just broken and feeling powerless, take heart today and lift your eyes to your Father in heaven, he has all the power, and he has you on his mind and he actually cares about YOU!.

(I have some cross references below for further reading or meditation…

a face set towards Jerusalem

“When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem” Luke 9:51

I like this description of Jesus in Luke’s gospel. His face was set to go to Jerusalem and when we read the gospels it is very clear that Jesus knew
what awaited him there. The cross awaited him there as he told his disciples “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised.” (Luke 9:22) Even if the disciples couldn’t grasp it, Jesus knew what would happen in Jerusalem and without hesitation or wavering he was determined to go.

Lets process this for a second, it is not like Jesus didn’t have plenty of chances to rethink his decision on the way to Jerusalem. The gospel accounts are vividly honest about the weaknesses and blunders of the disciples. Peter the outspoken disciple seems to get the most press… he rebuked Jesus, slept during the pre-crucifixion prayer meeting, reacted in violence cutting off a high priest’s ear at Jesus’ arrest, and to top it all off he denied Jesus publicly three times. I don’t know about you, but if I was about to go out of town for a while and entrust my possessions to someone I would be second guessing the decision if any of the guys I was leaving in charge had a track record like Peter and the rest of the disciples, never-mind suffering and dying for them and entrusting my eternal kingdom’s proclamation on earth to them. But this is what Jesus did!

But the question remains, why did he do it? Why so set on the cross? Was it an obligation, a responsibility, a promise he had to keep, a law he had to fullfill? What made him not turn back even when he saw the weakness of the ones he was dying for? Hebrews tells us the answer. Jesus’ face was set toward Jerusalem and the cross, but beyond the cross there was a “joy that was set before him” and it was for this joy that endured even the horrors of the cross (Hebrews 12:2). In other words there was a desire, something he wanted, that motivated him. There was something so dear to his heart that even though it meant paying the highest cost, it was still worth it to Jesus.

There was something Jesus desired more than his own life, something he was willing to risk everything to obtain. What was this desire? Jesus said it himself this way: “Father, I desire that they would be with me where I am.”(John 17:24). Do you see how set Jesus was on going to the cross? More importantly do you see how set he is on you? He wants us with Him where He is, and no matter how much evidence the devil brings against us, no matter how much even our own hearts try to persuade him that we aren’t worth it….He won’t be persuaded, His face is set.

Merry Christmas

This time of year is truly such a joyous time as we remember the birth of Jesus. I know I’ll be busy over the next few weeks working, traveling back to Rhode Island, catching up with friends and family, then back to Kansas City for the onething conference but I am feeling the invitation from the Holy Spirit to make time to behold the beauty of Jesus. At his birth, God not only became a man, but he took the lowest place among us. He wasn’t born into wealth but rather a manger (animal’s stall perhaps a feeding trough) because there was no room for him at the inn. His family didn’t understand him, people thought he was demonized or crazy, he was betrayed by one of his closets friends, his own disciples deserted him in his hour of trouble, and the people he create put him to death. He was rejected and despised and truly we esteemed him not (Isaiah 53:3). But still he was pleased to come and dwell among us, to become one of us forever. For the joy set before him the author of Hebrews tells us that he endured the cross and he calls us to do the same( Hebrews 12:1-2). As Jesus said to his disciples he says to us today even at Christmas time… “In anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”(Luke 9:23) The man we want to follow after all was born among animals, rejected by men, and died with the criminals; but this lowly one, the man from Nazareth, is our greatest treasure. He is the fairest among ten thousand, our beloved God and our friend. He himself is the joy that is set before us, so let us run this race with endurance looking to Jesus. This Christmas season may the Holy Spirit open up our eyes to behold the beauty of Jesus as we join with the song of the angels! “Glory to God in the highest!”

Merry Christmas – love Colin

The pilgrims hope

“In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” John 14:2

The last few years have felt like a pilgrimage for me. I had never lived anywhere except Rhode Island before moving to Kansas City. Once I arrived I’ve felt the romance of living as missionary quickly fade into the rugged reality of the fasted lifestyle.

Stripped of the comforts that living in my mom’s house with a steady income provided, I discovered the longing for a more permanent dwelling place starting to rise in my heart. The last few months I especially felt it. I was one week away from being forced find another place to live until the hunt for roommates finally proved fruitful. I hope I don’t sound like I am being overdramatic here. I think if we are really honest with ourselves even those among us with a cushier lifestyle can confess that despite our surroundings we still feel the fragility of rest that this side of eternity offers us. In other words we are all pilgrims, and something deep within us knows that this life is but a wilderness on the edge of the land of promise.

The truth is until the day I meet Jesus, when he returns or calls me home, I am pilgrim far from my home. This world is not my home. Even when I do graduate from bachelorhood and find a place on earth I call “my home” and not “my apartment”, I will still be a pilgrim.  But I won’t be sojourning forever. I have a home! I may be a stranger here on this earth but I am citizen of Heaven. So today I look to this city Heavenly country and I remind myself it’s worth the journey, it’s worth waiting for and it’s worth longing for.  I would rather mourn in the wilderness that this world truly is, than be a fool to call this my home. So today, i lift my eyes and look to the city whose builder and maker is God and I cry out with the song of saints past….Maranatha, come Lord Jesus! We want to be with you where you are! (Psalm 27:4, John 17:24)